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Mandy Brocklehurst's Journal
Private to Brayden
Where were you? I waited for an hour and you never showed up! Brayden, I can't do this anymore. I'm not talking about us, I'm talking about this place. I don't want to stay here any more. I don't need help. . . I need you. I feel fine when I'm with you. And I know that's not exactly the thing you like to hear, but it's true.
So I'm leaving. I'll get my dismissal slip signed, or I'll run away, whichever you want me to do. I know you didn't want to stay here either, and I'm the one that kept you. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it.
End Private
Harry, I need to talk to you.
Hexed EXTREMELY Private to Brayden
We need to talk. But no one can know. I'm not allowed to see you anymore, on orders from my new therapist. About ten minutes down the running path there's a small pond, There are three willows on the far side, it's completely hidden from view. Meet me there when you can.
Hard to believe, but I really do like my new job. It gives me something to do during the day, which is always appreciated.
[Private to Harry]
I'm sorry for not being around a whole lot lately, even if we are living right down the hall from each other.
Dinner soon? I miss you. I'll make something fantastic and chocolaty for dessert. And then we can make up for lost time. . .
[Private to Brayden]
I finished sorting that stack of papers. . . five hours after you left. You're welcome. . . and you owe me.
It's starting to get tolerable around here finally.
Hexed EXTREMELY Private
I'm a horrible person. I went in for a therapy appointment and ended up having sex with him! I can't believe I did that. He was just so handsome and I wanted it so badly. . . Harry'll hate me if he ever finds out. He can never know. . .
End Private
Private to Dr. Montague
When is my next appointment?
I'm not neurotic. . . am I?
My Personality
71 | |
21 | |
6 | |
57 | |
56 |
| You do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find yourself tempted to overindulge, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. You do not like to claim that you are better than other people, and generally shy from talking yourself up, however you are not affected strongly by human suffering, priding yourself on making objective judgments based on reason. You are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. You are well-organized and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans. |
The best Uggs |
I don't know what to do anymore. Things aren't as bad as they used to be. And I have to say, my bed's just doesn't look as appetizing as it used to.
Private
How could I have been so stupid? Why did I let him do that to me? Not that it was a bad thing. I mean, it felt really good, and I loved the way he touched me, the way he made me feel when he was inside me. But I don't know what to do. I got so scared the next day. But I'm fine. The doctor told me I was fine. I'm going to be okay. I just have to be more careful from now on.
Maybe this place isn't so terrible.
Private
Harry and I slept together. Well, not really, but sort of. We didn't have sex, but I slept with him in his bed. It was nice. Not that I don't want to sleep with him, I really do. I just don't think I'm ready. It's been so long since I've been with anyone, now I'm afraid of it. But Harry's different. He's sweet and adorably awkward. Maybe one day soon I'll go through with it. I feel horrid for shutting him down like that, but I had to.
Ugh! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him! Why then hell is he my roommate! But I can't go complain about it cause fucking Leersat hates me enough already, and any chance I get to be away from that woman I'll be happy to take.
Can someone please explain to me why the hell I volunteered to come here? Dammit Mum! Why did you have to bring this place up? I don't want to be here, even though I know I need it.
I feel so alone here. I don't like being alone. And even when I'm in my room I have to deal with the face that he'll eventually show up, ruining the one time I actually want to be alone.
I need to get out of this room. I need to find somewhere else to be, other people to be around. I know there are other people here. I just have to find them.